If you’re a leader in a so-called senior role, you’re still a person. Even at work.
So, it’s okay to feel stuff, just like anyone does.
The trouble is, the more time we spend in these roles, it becomes harder to admit.
As expectation, responsibility and accountability increase, the deeper the — often subconscious — desire is to dismiss, disbelieve and destroy these feelings.
Somehow, in our own mind, these natural, human feelings signal weakness, or a threat to our well-earned identity. Opening us to a level of vulnerability we’re not conditioned for, or happy to go to.
I’ve experienced this myself in my own industry — TV production.
As a senior person and a leader who values a culture of openness, I find that encouraging people to seek support, say things aren’t okay, or admit they don’t know, can genuinely feel like shouting into a void.
Never has the “you can take a horse to water…” analogy felt so clear. You just want them to give themselves a break.
So, as leaders, we plough on regardless, and in doing so, clear the way for burnout to creep in and for overwhelm to blur our moves.
The funny thing is, with a clear, objective mind, we’re the first to encourage other people to ease off, take a break, say they don’t know.
And we wouldn’t think twice about offering this support, or giving it a second thought afterwards.
Because the truth is, nobody’s on it every day.
There are days you show up exactly as you want to, and days you can barely show up at all. Dips in confidence. Moments of doubt. Periods where you feel, frankly, a bit lost.
But the higher up you go, the less able you feel to acknowledge any of it — not just to your bosses, your team, your peers. But to yourself, too.
Maybe a possible next step — or at least something to reflect on — is giving yourself permission, in these moments, to say, out loud:
To your team:
- “You know what? I don’t actually know. Why don’t we work on it together?”
To your boss:
- “I’ve never had to do this before. My instinct is this, but I’d love to take your advice.”
To yourself:
- “Close your laptop, don’t look at emails, and go watch the new series of The Rookie. It’ll all be there in the morning.”
Imagine the example that sets. Not the leader with an answer for everything and a 24/7 mindset — the honest one, still standing (just), still leading, just showing up as it is.
Rather than guarding what you view as solid leadership, it could be the growth you need yourself.
If any of this sounds familiar, that’s often where coaching starts — a space to actually think it through, honestly, before you decide what you want to do differently.